by Christine D’Cruz
christine4u@rediffmail.com
“Those who love deeply never grow old…they may die of old age, but they die young...”
I
feel the tears begin to form in my eyes as I recollect sweet memories of her.
I didn’t even know her real name … but that never mattered, because
we all used to fondly call her Mai (mother). No, she was not my Mama
nor my Nana. She was our first and only dear Nanny, who cared for us with all
her heart. An inner voice tells me that she never felt that she was raising
someone else’s children … she was raising her own – my brother
Rohan and me.
She was a thin, but hardworking, woman. She spoke only Konkani, but understood the language of the heart. She wore spectacles, but was a woman of foresight. She had no prior experience, yet she was ready to accept the challenge of looking after us. She became a part of our family when I was born. In fact, there was no need for her to work at all. Raising the two of us started as a pastime when my Papa requested her to do so, but she took her role seriously. She started working for us at the age of 60. When Rohan and I were small, she used to happily work 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., seven days a week. Even when she was ill, she would insist on coming to work. She lived at Bogda, Vasco-da-Gama, but always came to work on foot to our house in the heart of the city.
Most people ask the Lord to lighten their burdens. I think she asked Him to strengthen her back. At her age, she was a multi-tasker. At any given time, she was called upon to be a food-provider, nurse, disciplinarian and confidante. My Nana recalls that when Rohan was a few months old, she would keep his cradle in the kitchen so that she could do her work and also keep an eye on him. She used to affectionately call him “mhozo put” (my son). She considered Rohan her second son. The truth is that she already had married children of her own, and lived long enough to see her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
My parents had always insisted that she take Sundays off, which she finally agreed to when we started going to school. Even then, Rohan wanted her to feed him when we got back home. I remember she used to lovingly make little balls of food and give him to eat. She always insisted on using the grinding stone, never the mixer. We all loved her food – her xit-kodi (rice & curry), recheado bangdde (stuffed mackerel), ambot tik (hot & sour fish gravy) and mouth-watering potato chops. She was really a superwoman of her time and would single-handedly draw water from our well with the codso (pot) if we had a water shortage. In the evenings, Mai would sit on the steps of our house and brush the tangles out of my hair and plait it before I went for my Bharatnatyam classes. Honestly, till now that was the only time my hair was so nicely oiled and well groomed!
We
were growing older year after year, and age was catching up with her too. I
know it was very difficult for all of us to see her growing frailer day by day.
But she still insisted on coming to work for us. She had grown very close to
our family. Eventually, she knew it was time to retire. After 13 odd years,
she retired from her work, but not from our lives. We used to visit her whenever
we could. She lived on a hill and going to her house was like climbing Mount
Calvary, gasping for breath at the Stations of the Cross. That’s when
Rohan and I actually realized some of the hardships she had so willingly undergone
for us. Whenever we visited her, it was evident that time and age had left their
mark, but to us she was still our same Mai who loved us unconditionally.
Her health was deteriorating slowly. I guess we all knew her end was close. On 20th July 2001, she passed away peacefully in her sleep at the age of 81. It was at her funeral that I came to know her real name – Sebastiana D’Souza. That day all of us let go with our hands, but we continue to hold on to her with our hearts. We all miss you, Mai. The hearts you’ve touched will never lose the feeling of love.…
I’m sure Mai is one with the angels now…looking
down on all her children. God bless her soul.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
A State First Ranker at her H.S.S.C Board Exams, Christine D'Cruz then went on to pursue her Bachelors in Business Administration. After a stint at Prudential UK as a Process Leader at their Mumbai office, this 25-yr old is currently pursuing her MBA in the UK. A vivacious all-rounder, Christine enjoys reading, listening to music, travelling and making friends. And there's a twinkle in her eye as she speaks of the first love of her life .... her five cats!!!